Culinary Tourette's and I Really Do Love You! (as long as you're exactly like me)

It happened again today, not for the first time. I got up to reheat my cuppa joe in the microwave for one minute, and suddenly I was making spaghetti sauce. Browning beef, onions, and garlic. Tossing in basil, oregano, black pepper, cardomom, tiny dash of cinnamon and cayenne, couple of bay leaves, a pinch of celery seed. Opening cans of tomato paste and tomato sauce. You get the idea. You don't need to know the brands, do you?

The microwave beeped forlornly to remind me of my cooling cup.

This happens sometimes. I'll go into the kitchen to fetch something, and the next thing I know I'm putting a pound cake in the oven. Not that I'm complaining. I prefer spontaneous cooking over spontaneous combustion.

The weather is getting cooler, and I need to have my neighbor over for dinner, so having spaghetti sauce handy is a good idea. My neighbor Karen doesn't like spicy food, so I went easy on the cayenne, and left the Scorned Woman Hot Sauce in the pantry. Me, I love spicy foods, but I do have to tone it down for Karen.

I really should hate her because of that. She should be exactly like me. After all, she only lives a few doors down. If she wants to be different, she should live in a different country.

Maybe I ought to talk to her. I mean, I'm reasonable. I'll just tell her that she should like spicy foods and that's all there is to it. She probably does like burning her mouth, and just doesn't know it. After all, God made me in his image, so she must be exactly like me, too. That's just good logic. I know, I know, I'm assuming God made her, too. Gosh, I hope one of those pseudo-gods didn't make her...Allah, Buddha, or one of them there guys.

I have a big heart, and I'll run around telling anybody that I love everybody, just watch me! I may say cruel or hateful things about people who are different than me, but I really do love them. I do! I just want them to do the right thing and be just like me. I'm looking out for their own good, because I love them, the silly things. I know they can change. Between you and me (because I know we're alike), it sure is easier to love people just like us, isn't it?

I'm sure you know what I mean. Because you are just like me, aren't you?