Pigs and Ponderings

One day this week I was idly perusing my old blog entries to see if I might want to add some new images now that I'm getting better at it. I was dismayed to see that the nice image of a mother and child I had placed on Mom's Table had turned into A PIG!!! This certainly was bewildering, and I quickly replaced it with another image. I thought whatever image I added to my blogsite was cast in cyber-concrete, but obviously I was a bit too optimistic. I'll keep checking the archives from time to time to be sure nothing unseemly pops in. Or you can let me know.

Now I'm waiting for The Third Pig. Back in June my neighbor Karen told me that one of our other neighbors kept seeing a pig behind his house. We do not live in the country. There is a skinny wooded area behind our homes, and a large neighborhood behind that. The pig-sighter is a fellow alcoholic (not in recovery), and my only thought was "I wonder if it was pink?"

Sure enough, a few weeks later, Karen saw the pig behind her house. She wanted to snap a photo, but was on the phone long-distance and couldn't get to her camera. I asked Karen what color the pig was. "Pink," came the reply, but I trusted Karen.

Still, seeing is believing.

Well, you know what happened. I was down at Karen's one evening and the pig strolled though her back yard. Big, healthy-looking, and pink. We think he's living in the woods out back.

On the theory that things come in threes, I'm braced for another porcine encounter. Thank heavens I've been sober for six (almost) months, otherwise I'd be questioning my sanity. Nowadays, although I know I'm insane, I can believe what I see. I'll keep you posted, and will let you know when the third pig drops.

We had a good conversation about sarcasm this morning at my AA meeting. I love a sarcastic wit. Some of my favorite authors have a finely-honed sense of sarcasm. "Finely-honed" is used intentionally here, because, like a knife, sarcasm can be used as a weapon. My mother (who was compared to Lucille Ball for her antics) sometimes used me as the whetstone. In particular, I remember that when I would do something wrong and say "I'm sorry" she would volley back with "Oh, you're sorry, alright." The solution for me was to simply stop apologizing. It took me years to learn how to apologize without being defensive.

We (read: I) also use sarcasm as a passive-aggressive combat tool. Instead of approaching someone openly and directly - and politely - to let them know how something they did/said made me feel, I am prone to say something sarcastic. They either don't get it, which changes nothing so I grow resentful if the same thing happens again OR if they question why I said that, I say "Oh, I was just kidding!" (which changes nothing so I grow resentful if the same thing happens again). Hmmm.

My world is not black and white, except where drinking alcohol is concerned. I enjoy the full spectrum of colors, so I believe self-directed sarcasm has its place, as does humor in general. One thing I love about most AA meetings is all the laughter. "We are not a glum lot." But humor has its proper place, too. I may try to inject humor when it is not appropriate in an attempt to lighten the situation. Well, sometimes people don't want jokes or platitudes, they just want someone to get down on the floor to roll around and cry with them. Or at least watch them do it without being a wisecracker. Then they can get up, dust themselves off, and move on.

My friend Trudy spoke to platitudes after my cat died in spring. She warned me that some folks, meaning well, would immediately ask me if I would run out to get another cat; she likened this to someone approaching the widow at the funeral and asking if she would be dating right away. True to prediction, I had to field this question from most of my friends. I know they meant well, but I just didn't want to hear that line of inquiry at the time.

So, for today, I'm not going to use sarcasm or humor about someone other than myself. And no platitudes.

This should be easy since I'm not planning to see anyone else today, but you never know...a pig could ring my doorbell. Oh, well, one day at a time.

"Wisdom does not come with age. Experience comes with age. If we are wise, we learn from our experiences."