Craig Ferguson, Call Me!

I got a bit of a shock this morning. For months (okay, years) I have been going through life assuming that Christopher Meloni is my boyfriend. Nevermind that Mr. Meloni is a happily married father; I ignore that detail. I was understandably dismayed this morning to learn that Chris is Maddog's boyfriend! On the heels of learning this, my television reminded me that I have another true love. His name is Craig Ferguson.


While sipping coffee and snooping around on the Internet earlier, the Sunday Morning show on CBS aired a segment on Craig Ferguson, the host of the Late, Late Show. I'm not sure when I first watched his show, but I do remember thinking that we shared the same kooky sense of humor. Craig's show opens with a monologue that is unscripted, and he delivers it unaided by tele-prompter or cue cards. If I find myself awake at midnight on a weeknight, I frequently say "Oh, the hell with bedtime! I'll stay up for the Late, Late Show" and I promise myself a nap the next day.


One of my favorite parts of the Late, Late Show is when Craig reads and answers e-mail questions from viewers. His parodies of Prince Charles, Sean Connery, Michael Caine, and Angela Lansbury (as sleuth Jessica Fletcher) are too darned funny. I also like it when he gets tickled at himself and bursts out laughing. There's no doubt that he is "not right" in the head, but that's part of his charm.


One thing I can tell you about Craig Ferguson is that he is a very tender and passionate lover. I know this from personal experience. One night after I had clicked off the television, Craig came to me in a dream. Most of my dreams are not in the least erotic, leaning more to floating or flying, or trying to figure out how in the heck to get off of a perilously tall structure like a bridge or a building. On this particular night, Craig and I did not meet at my house or his, but apparently in a tent. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Craig was feeling frisky, and things progressed from there. I also learned that Craig is assertive, without being selfishly aggressive. A dream lover in every sense of the expression. Yes, I know that he is heterosexual and has a seven-year-old son, so shut up.


Another thing that bonds me to Craig is that he is a fellow recovering alcoholic. He is candid about this, although he wisely declines to specify the name of the 12-step program that saved his life. The Sunday Morning show included an excerpt of a serious monologue from earlier this year, and I'm including a link here because it is well worth your time. As you watch, you will sense that the audience is initially a little confused to hear him speak to them with seriousness in this from-the-heart chat. You will see for yourself why I love this man. He does not shut the door on his past, and he has moved on to a wonderful life.


So, I relinquish Christopher Meloni to Maddog, knowing that I have a new man in my life. Call me, Craig!