The other day when I dropped in on Java, she mentioned that both of her family's vehicles were near collapse. I knew just how she felt. Lately my home has seen things go blink, splat, whap, crash, clunk, and snap.The toilet in the third bathroom has sprung a leak somewhere between the wall and the bowl, so the valve is shut off at the wall. The sink and the tub are still usable, but are not substitutes for a working toilet.
Two of my kitchen drawers are out of the wall units, because the thingamabobs at the back of the cabinets are made of plastic, and finally snapped in two, making the drawers unusable unless I yanked them out and set them on my barstools. On a positive note, finding the kitchen gadgets is a breeze.
Bulbs in hard to reach places have burned out simultaneously.
My microwave oven is haunted, and started coming on for no rhyme or reason, so I now leave the door ajar so the house won't burn down. It's plugged in behind the refrigerator, so it's either an open door, or have a contortionist on-call to unplug it after every use.
The downstairs vacuum cleaner groaned and coughed one day in the living room, and now wheezes along ineffectually with half-hearted suction. This means the upstairs vacuum cleaner has been pressed into double-duty, and will soon cop an attitude and follow suit.
The control knob on the washing machine snapped off in my hand, which makes doing laundry an adventure.The pipe leading from the toilet in the downstairs bathroom makes a horrendous shuddering groan every time I flush.
New, fabulously expensive siding (Hardiplank) has been installed on my home recently, and I noticed a large water stain on a wall in the den after a hard rain storm.
The "Yikes! Your trunk is open! Pull over immediately" light on my car's dashboard came on last week, and stays on even though the trunk is securely latched. Or is it?
The outside light beside the front door has been on the fritz for a long time.
The car CD player doesn't.
All things considered, I'm looking forward to 2009.
Happy New Year!!!
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11 comments:
You have two vacuum cleaners and three turlets and even light bulbs, and you think you have problems? I wish my life were so good.
Happy New Year.
That sounds like my life!
Have a happy - and less problematic - new year, Bill!
Sounds like you've got gremlins. Have a very happy new year. All the best to you!
Remind me to shower and evacuate before I come over for dinner. I evacuated once, for Hurricane Ike, and ended up in Waco, TX. They burn Branch Dividians there. It's also home of Baylor (Baptist) University and just down the road from Crawford, TX. You know, where Monkey Boy has his ranch?
Happy New Year, Billy! Don't touch anything!
Happy New Year, Bill. You may want to call an exorcist. Or Ghostbusters.
Sounds like you'll be having some fun trips to Home Depot in '09. We seem to be spending a lot of time there too!
Happy New Year!
Really Bill, it sounds like you've pissed someone off..haha. If your house starts shouting "GET OUT"..I'd listen.
OH GOD this is so funny, I laughed aloud in several places, "on a positive note, finding kitchen gadgets is a breeze," and "Bulbs in hard to reach places have burned out simultaneously." I can relate to the latter. We have mischievious electrical pixie in our kitchen, that rips through lightbulbs like a hungry person at Grand Slam breakfast platter.
Sounds like Bruce's and my December. He spent a few weekends under sinks. Both our bathrooms sinks and toilets went on the fritz. First priority: get that water stain on the wall looked into ASAP! Seriously! That could be big trouble if you let it go. Your homeowners and/or the siding people should cover it. (Don't let them dick you around, if you'll excuse the expression.)
I like the picture of the exploding toilet ;o) I hope it does that only when it's been flushed completely first!
EEKS! :)
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